


Fun Time in the Tub

by Darifica



Category: Free!
Genre: Crack, M/M, Other, Watersexual!Haru, smex with bathtub, stalker/yandere!Makoto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-02
Updated: 2015-10-02
Packaged: 2018-04-24 12:01:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4918777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darifica/pseuds/Darifica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something Rin says in a fit of rage forms an idea in Haru's mind, causing his teenage hormones to delve into unconventional desires, much to Makoto's dismay. </p>
<p>OR: Haru has some smexy times with the waifu for the first time and things go horribly wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fun Time in the Tub

One day, Rin approached Haruka, wanting to race him in the pool, because losing made his wee-wee tingle. But Haru being Haru was cold and gave no more fucks than usual.

“Free free free.. Pool’s waiting,” he said and jumped in.

Rin got pissy and shouted: “WELL FUCK YOUR DAMN POOL THEN!”

That made Haru pause. Fuck the pool? That was a new idea. Why had he never thought of it before? But.. how?

He spent an entire day trying to figure out how to have sex, until Makoto showed up, asking why the hell he was still soaking around.

“You’re gonna turn into a fucking raisin at this rate,” he said and smiled goofily.

“Shut up. I’m trying to figure out how to have sex.”

“EH? You’re finally ready to do it with me?”

Haruka shot him a glare. “You? No, the pool of course, you dumbass.”

“Oh.. tough luck. Well, you take your elephant and put it in some hole. That’s all I know.”

Unaware of the dangerous glint in Makoto’s eyes and the sudden darkening of his voice, Haru simply turned away, tuning out everything other than the water. 

_“Hole?”_

Eventually, he convinced Makoto to stop stalking him and went home to attempt to fuck his bathtub for starters, but that was a big mistake, for his dingdong grew so thick from the excitement that it got stuck in the bath. He then had to wait a few hours (not that he really minded) until Makoto finally couldn’t keep away anymore and came to help him by stripping naked, which successfully turned him off and caused his piss-horn to shrink back into an invisible-to-the-human-eye, microscopic, shriveled particle at lightning speed.

The theory that Nagisa had come up with had been proven to be right; Haru was hydrosexual after all. Not that it had come as a surprise or anything. One thing was for sure though; Water-chan was going to have to keep an eye out for yandere Makoto in the future.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry Makoto, darling. I still love you. So does Haru. He just doesn’t know it yet, that silly water molester. 
> 
> Seriously though.. I clearly need someone to stop me from posting (and writing) stuff like this. To be honest, I didn’t know whether to post it or not at first, but I feel it’s a waste to just let things gather dust after going through the trouble of checking grammar and all that, no matter how fucked up they might be, so I figured oh well. I’m going to hell at this rate anyway.
> 
> PS: I swear, I do have some serious fics going on as well. Crack is not my only 'forte.' Believe me please! D:


End file.
